By | July 29, 2017

My grandmother died of cancer when my mother was 3 months pregnant with me. She never told my grandmother about the pregnancy because the doctors told it would be to terrible for my grandmother if to know she would never see her first grandchild. My mother has regretted this ever since.


Growing up I felt a special bond to my grandmother. My parents were atheists and rather to pray to God I would talk to my grandmother and ask her things. My cousin once got angry with me for knowing our lost grandmother better than her. We had never spoken about how I used to almost pray to my grandmother as a child so I was shocked.


I had never seen my grandmothers grave but when I moved out of my parents house when I was 19 I ended up living close to the cemetery where she is buried. It’s Copenhagen’s famous Assistens Cemetary and many people use it as a park. My friends and I would often picnic there. One day I decided to look for her grave. I learned that it was under a family name and not hers. To my surprise it was right next to where we had had our picnics.


Once at a party a woman my mother and father only knew very little saw me for the first time. When she saw me she took my mother’s hand and told her I think your daughter is your mother. My mother had never told that my grandmother was dead. When my mother told me this she was shocked but I remember her saying “it felt right”.


My grandfather was very very close to me. As he grew older he would call me my grandmother’s name very often. He did not do this to my mother or my cousin. He was as close to me as my mother and father, and his death was a great loss to me that sent me into a time of depression.


Could I be my own grandmother? I was brought up a atheist and know little of reincarnation. How is it possible if my mother was 3 months pregnant when my grandmother died?




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